I don’t know why smoothies have to sound so infantile. There are many demographics that enjoy a delicious berry smoothie other than those that take a dump in their pants. I quite enjoy them and haven’t shat my pants for quite some time now.

JSYK, you’re going to need a blender.

Smoothies are so incredibly easy — if you thought hummus was a snap, folks, hold on to your proverbial and/or literal hats. The logistics of these things are so facile that I’m a bit embarrassed to type them out:

Blueberry banana smoothie

• 1 cup plain yogurt
• 1 cup blueberries (frozen is fine)
• 1 banana
• a handful of ice cubes

Throw the stuff in a blender and hit the button. That’s it, you are done. Enjoy. The above quantities will yield about two gin and tonics worth of smoothie.

Now that you’ve got the basics down feel free to improvise. Example: I like to put a quarter can of frozen OJ into the mix or a couple squirts of lemon juice to make things a little tangier. The possibilities are only limited by the contents of your nearest grocery store. Try raspberries, cherries, peaches, cream, honey, wheat germ, protein powder, ice cream, peanut butter, grapes, or beer (j/k?).

In conclusion smoothies are super duper.